And so it ends...wow, its so hard to believe that this semester is over. It has all gone by so fast and it seems like just yesterday that we started. At first I was not too sure what to expect going into this class, yes I am an education major, but with it being interdisiplinary and me not getting certified, I often wondered what this class was going to be like. Well, I think it is safe to say that it was nothing like I every expected it to be. One of the first things that came to mind when I saw the syllabus and the fact that participation is so important, was oh my gosh I am going to fail because I hate talking out loud in class. And it did take me a while to feel comfortable enough with everything and everyone to want to participate and share what all I was thinking. What really helped me was when I did say something, I was not criticized or told that was a wrong answer, but instead there was always some kind of positive spin put on things which made me feel as though I knew what I was doing. In a past education class I had, participation was also important, however, when someone would share an idea or thought there were many times we were told we were wrong, and no thats not right. After hearing that both yourself and watching others ideas be put down, no one wanted to talk and I got in the habit of just trying to make it through the class without getting chosen to answer. However, I felt safe in the classroom and with the other people and wanted to tell them about my experiences and knew it was going to be ok. I do think that it helped though to have such a small class because it was much easier to talk when there were only a few listening instead of a whole lecture hall full of people. I am also amazed at how much I really did learn throughout the semester which I can take and apply it to what I want to do, even though it is not teaching. I know that there will still be the bad times when I am thinking...do I really want to do this, but I know there will also be those good times when I will think to myself, man I love what I am doing. I am glad this class went how it did, it was my favorite class to go to because I knew the time would go by quickly and we would never do the same things that we had done the class before. I am going to miss the humor and laughing that was always going on which made this so enjoyable. I guess this just goes to show that first impressions can be very wrong...

My last day of observation...I find it so hard to believe that I have finished my semester of observing already. It seems like just yesterday that I started working with this class and had gotten to know these kids on a level past just them being in classroom that I was observing and working with two times a week. I know that this experience has greatly changed me in many ways because I know I am far from the same person that I was when I started not too long ago. Working with these kids has really showed how much of a difference in one persons life you can make just by listening to them and treating them as though they are important as well. There was one girl who at the beginning of the semester really didnt talk too much to anyone but then I was able to figure out what some of her interests were and what she liked and found a way to use that as a common ground between the two of us and could then start conversations off of. I found out that she is a very avid volleyball player and does a lot of stuff with that throughout the year. I also played for quite a while and so I was able to talk with her about some things that are involved with the sport which led her to opening up more as well as starting to share about things in her life that would not necessarily have to do with school or volleyball, but just things to share and talk about. I thought that this was really neat that someone who didnt talk much to anyone would be able to open up when given the right oppurtunity. It was also hard for this to be my last day when I could tell that most of the kids were really opening up to the idea of considering me a teacher than more of someone who is just in the classroom and walking around to help kids. I also feel a lot more comfortable in the classroom setting than I did at first when I went in. I know that I was very nervous to help a lot of the kids and answer questions for them because I didnt want to tell them wrong as well as I didnt want to be doing something that I wasnt supposed to be doing. When I found the reassurance that everything was ok and I would be able to help them as much as possible I felt a lot better and more like I fit into the classroom. The students also helped me to feel as though I belonged in the room because some of them were very open to the idea and wanted to hear about me and things from my life right away which helped me to feel more comfortable with the whole situation. I honestly had a great experience with my observing and would definatly do it again if I had the chance in this junior high age because I really like this age more than any of the others that I have dealt with in the past. Its the things like this which are so positive which make me sometimes want to become a teacher and work with the kids in a classroom, but I also know that I can use what I have taken from these chances and apply them to myself and what I want to do in years down the road.